I Believe in God

Yes I do. I guess in some ways I am succumbing to the very thing I have problems with: belief. I don't have any proof. I don't have any pictures or video evidence. In fact I don't really have anything that tells me to do this, yet I do think there is a God or god. I don't look at god as a male with a beard. Nor a blad headed fat man with a rubbable belly. I don't know that there is any story of gods son coming to Earth to save humanity from itself. I don't think there was a battle of the Titans.

So why would I go off the deep end on this topic? It seems as science gets deeper into the understanding of our universe more and more people are becoming atheists. They would even tell you that somehow they know that god does not exist. Apparently mathmatical models indicate this even though I can't understand it. To many there seems to be a reasonable explanation that we find order and life to be a commonality of the universe. But that it was not a creation.

If we continue to go on this, I have some problems. This is because I don't think any type of organization, random or not, has to preclude the existance of god. We always seem to come back to the same unanswerable question. "Well, how did that happen??" I think there was a big bang. I think that evolution explains why we see the variety of species we do on this planet. I can't imagine other life holding planets to be that drastically different. At least the mechanism for such life. DNA seems to have been the mechanism for life here.

DNA can take on innumerable forms as we see inexhaustable variety. DNA is the archaic form. and from there natural elements seem to select different configurations of genes that result in awesome creatures that fit the surroundings in harmonious ways. The Earth is a truly remarkable place full of differing survival machines.

But the question remains. Where did the first life form come from. How did it pull itself out of the ashes of abiotic elements?? How did that first life form split into other forms?? And as we work backwards on this, where did the material come from to form our universe? And what happened before this? And before that? It seems to be an infinite rewind button. Can we ever get back to a moment that was the beginning?

Everything we know in this universe was once smashed together into near nothingness. And from that eventually sprouted life and consciousness. How have we gone from chaos to complex forms that ponder the complexity? It almost seems ironic. But to me it indicates a higher power. An entity that started the whole shabang. The big shabang I guess I should say. And although this is what we see from a cosmological perspective using science as our tool, it doesn't need to omit the existance of something. And I call that something god.

I don't expect to see my father again. I don't expect to throw frisbees to my dog again. But I do expect to be thrown back into the mix of things. There are so many question that remain unexplained, that I choose to explain them by manifesting a "god" in my head.

You wouldn't be interested in my religion. I don't go on missions. I don't have a book to read. I don't need large cathedrals in which to pray. I don't have hymns to sing and candles to light. In my own religion I feel I will someday return to sender as a raindrop returns to the sea. There may be no enlightenment or perhaps there may be. But as wonderful as life and consciousness is,I do certainly have a problem with those that seem to as easily dismiss God as those that embrace Jesus. They seem to be on the same side of the coin.

So while I believe in god, I marvel at the complexities of my life and my world. If it is an accident or a purposeful incident, life is amazing. Perhaps a cosmic seeding. And I definitily have more thoughts on this, but they will have to unfold as I continue to write. It is hard enought to organize and understand my own thought process, much less convey it to written words (well, .. typed words)